From afar

Oh, spotify playlist. That was sneaky. Stop reading my subconscious.

 

Priorities Fail

I feel the introduction to How to get a PhD should perhaps say, ‘If you are reading this instead of the 100 other things you need to read in order to be impressive in PhD applications, that is not a good start.’

 

Letters into the Ether VII

Dear Airport Management Company Executive,

You appear to be concerned about the effect of rising sea levels on your business plan to build an airport on a small island. May I tentatively suggest you are MISSING THE POINT?

*sound of head banging against wall*

 

Letters into the Ether VI

Dear LibDems,

THIS IS NOT WHAT I VOTED FOR.

Yours,

Despondent in North London

 

Rant 4765

Dear people of Britain,

I know the HMG Your Freedom website is appallingly designed and seems ill-thought-out, but, honest to god, it is NOT a forum for you to espouse any and all of the crackpot ideas you might have. ‘Overhaul the benefits system to encourage young people to take responsibility’ is NOT repealing an unnecessary existing law. Nor is ‘Downsize the BBC’. Also, as regards the ‘Cutting Business and Third Sector Regulations’ section, I feel ‘Leave the EU’ is something of an overreaction. As are ‘Cut translation services to all but the indigenous languages of the British Isles’ and ‘Abolish maternity and paternity pay and leave for SMEs and the public sector. Also, it clearly states that suggestions to ACTUALLY DO THINGS, even if they are not entirely crackpotty, like ‘Reward Ethical Businesses through the Tax System’, are not what they are looking for.

Further to the above, I fail to see how ‘A BILL TO ABOLISH THE USE OF POWERPOINT’ contributes to restoring civil liberties.

*sound of head banging against the wall*

Yours,

Weary in London

 

Proofreading and poetry

‘Maneck took the opportunity to slip in a bit of praise, to ensure that the story continued. “You know, you’re the first proofreader I’ve met.  I would have guessed they’d be very dull people, but you speak so … with such … so differently.  Almost like a poet.”

‘”And why shouldn’t I?  For twenty-four years, the triumphs and tragedies of our country quickened my breath, making my pulse sing with joy or quiver with sorrow.  In twenty-four years of proofreading, flocks of words flew into my head through the windows of my soul.  Some of them stayed on and built nests in there.  Why should I not speak like a poet, with a commonwealth of language at my disposal, constantly invigorated by new arrivals?”  He gave a mighty sigh.  “Until that wet day, of course, when it was all over.  When the windows were slammed shut.  And the ophthalmologist sentenced me to impotence, saying that my proofreading days were behind me.”

‘”Couldn’t he give you new spectacles or something?”

‘”That wouldn’t have helped.  The trouble was, my eyes had become virulently allergic to printing ink.”  He spread his hands in a gesture of emptiness.  “The nectar that nurtured me had turned to poison.”

‘”Then what did you do?”

‘”What can anyone do in such circumstances?  Accept it, and go on.  Please always remember, the secret of survival is to embrace change and to adapt.  To quote: ‘All things fall and are built again, and those that build them again are gay.’”‘

‘”Yeats?” guessed Maneck.

‘The proofreader nodded.’

(Rohinton Mistry, A Fine Balance)

 

Rage. Rage.

“Ordinary second-home owners.”

“Ordinary second-home owners.”?!?!?!?!?!

Seriously?!

Is that what all this is about?

The Telegraph, which has been sitting on all the expenses data for months, has suddenly decided to reveal this info about David Laws and now Danny Alexander, just as the Lib Dems are calling for CGT to be raised to 50%. Hmm.What a coincidence.

Well, they can FUCK RIGHT OFF with the moral highground, then.

If the expenses saga was really about getting value for taxpayers’ money, they’d just publish all the info, rather than what they are doing, which looks suspiciously like sitting on it until they want to use it to bring down people they don’t like.

Argh. This may be from 2007, but, ooh, look, a step by step guide on how to avoid paying CGT! Including the deliciously unexpected, ‘Don’t get married!’*

You know what? That money that you’re supposed to pay on your “ordinary” second-home? That’s public money too. I know it doesn’t feel like it, I know it feels like yours, and I do agree that public servants should be held to higher standards (to some extent, there’s no need to be ridiculous – they’re still human, and we should all be held to high standards), but seriously – that’s public money too. Avoiding paying CGT on your second-home,  is, perhaps, an act of omission rather than commission, but you are still depriving the country of the public funds you keep telling us we’re so desperately short of.

So, yeah. Fuck right off with the moral highground.

—————————

* Choosing not to get married because you get more benefits if you’re single is, like, totally different from not getting married to pay less tax on your second-home.

 

Letters into the Ether V

Dear Londoners,

Yes, it’s hot.

That’s no excuse for dabbling your feet in Camden Lock.

Seriously, urgh.

Yours,

Concerned in North London

 

Like a train on a track…

“Ooh, well, let me put you in touch with our research department. They’re always keen to work with interesting people.”

This, people, is the kind of response I want when I explain what the anthropology of food is. Okay? Not blank confusion or ridicule. Okay?

—————-

In other gleeful news, my exams are FINISHED! Hurrah, hurrah, hurrah. Theory was 2/3 okay and 1/3 completely disastrous (possibly so disastrous it undermines the two decent answers and my term essays, but we’ll see), food was okay, and medical anthropology was an absolute unmitigated catastrophe. Thwarted by a cold, and autumn’s depression! The irony, it burns…

Also, I start an awesome internship next week. Researching causes of famine in Chad for a hunger charity. Real things might actually happen in the world as a result of stuff I do. =s

And my cold has abated, and the hideous bruise I acquired while tumbling downstairs the morning after the election has faded.

And I’m going for a lazy day with my coursemates today, possibly a cool party in East London tomorrow, and out for mojitos and dancing on Saturday!! Yay!

And we might be getting our shower fixed, which would be well exciting.

 

My life in Belle and Sebastian lyrics

I reckon I could have a mood-appropriate Belle and Sebastian lyric as my Facebook status every day between now and the end of exams. Probably afterwards too. So far I’ve been tempted by,

“the girl just wants to be left alone with Marx and Engels for a while“

and,

“she doesn’t speak to anyone to four o’clock, she knows she’s losing it…”

————

My housemates affirm that I am, if nothing else, giving the impression of working hard and taking my exams quite seriously.

But, in other news, I am going to ignore the catastrophe that was Wednesday’s exam and declare this a Pretty Good Week.

I am, demonstrably, less completely-shit-at-everything than I usually imagine.

Awesome research internship at prestigious hunger charity? Check.

Thankless but disproportionately lucrative job in the departmental library, that will not only provide a small but reassuringly steady income next year to supplement precarious freelancing, but also allow me to get to know the head of department and other important people in the anthropology department? Check.

Scraping a distinction on my food essay, despite writing it during a frenzied all-nighter? Check.

Ruthless careerism ftw!!

My life is approximately one billion times better than it was a year ago.

Ironically, I am now berating myself for thinking I’m shit when I have actual proof that I’m not. Because I must always be flawed. Yeesh. Be nice to yourself for a while, girl. Sometimes, sometimes, you’re a teensy bit awesome.

(But don’t get complacent and not do any more revision… Wild Friday night in with Warren Belasco here we come!)